Want to go home, people?

Find Jason Bourne.

In 1995, I was in an airplane hanger …

… standing in pitch black, inky darkness ...

… Is this dirt beneath my feet … ?

About 12 of us stood before a single Santa Monica College, SMC, instructor, silhouetted and barely discernible before a dim light swinging above a small bank of computers behind him

(But, truthfully, I’m not sure about the swinging part).

What the whu … ?

Where am I … ?

What is this … ?

Is this Treadstone … ?

Is Jason Bourne here … ?

Nor an airplane hanger.

It was an SMC temporary building on a vacant lot that would become SMC’s Academy of Entertainment & Technology, now the Center for Media and Design.

But, no, as it turned out … no.

Jason Bourne wasn’t there.

And this wasn’t even Treadstone

In 1995, this was a canvas tent on a dirt lot — where I did not step forward.

My Summer, 1994, Intro to Photography instructor, Tim Moriarty, encouraged us to come here for this inaugural orientation.

Movie studios like Dreamworks were having trouble finding digital animators — digital anything, in 1994 — so they were partnering with SMC to create them.

Together with Dreamworks, SMC would build an entirely new campus for the Academy of Entertainment and Technology, ground to be broken on the very dirt we stood. It was one of the first digital animation programs in the world — and we were its first class.

In 1995, Dreamworks wanted to build a movie studio on the wetlands of Marina Del Rey , but the good people of the west side wouldn’t have any of that. They still built The Academy of Entertainment and Technology, though.

You’ll be the first class of somethin'," said the man in shadow, "I don’t really know what. But if you’d like to learn more, step forward.

Step forward, he said …

… Literally …

… out of the dark, into the light.

Step forward.

Renowned Jungian psychologist Robert A. Johnson wrote about slender threads, thin wisps of opportunity, destiny, floating by in unexpected moments to whisk us off to a better life, if we’d just grab hold …

… Slender threads …

My body lurched forward — but then … my brain … oh, my brain …

… I have too many political science credits, am applying to a decent university. I’m on a poli-sci track.

What is digital animation, anyway?

What are you, going to be a cartoonist now?…

… Wipe that smile off your face …. Who are you? … Where do you come from? … Are you listening to me? … What do you wanna do with your life?

I broke my stride, slammed down on my right foot, and riveted both feet to the ground.

Around me, students swarmed, parting to either side, moving towards the light. It was either seconds and an eternity that passed.

Then, with steely resolve, and feet of clay, I walked out, back through the dark — to a life far less bright than even the faint light in that tent

but one that calmed Twisted Sister’s dad down, and all the voices in my head that sounded like him.

But that was 29 years ago.

Here’s what I’ve learned, since …

You think the fate of universes rides on your one perfect, precious decision. You think that because movies show you this, and others have told you so throughout your life.

But that is a lie.

Here’s what’s true

Life is a long series of trials and errors, a series of failures met with the errant, oddball success.

No cosmos will collapse if you make a choice that ends up looking wrong.

Life is this:

You make a choice, assess the damage — and pivot once again …

… for decades, for a lifetime.

The fate of worlds is not hanging in the balance. No one will lose their wits because you become part of one of the first digital animation programs in the world.

And one more thing …

There are no deposits in the bank of time.

Only withdrawals.

And our remaining balance … at any given time …

… is always a secret.

So now, I study and practice photography under the greats: Sue Bryce, Pye Jirsa, Chris Weston, and Elyna S. Blair. (I count you among them, Tim Moriarty, Summer, 1994, Intro to Photography, SMC! I count you among them.)

And at the end of a photo shoot or study session, I have more energy than when I began — and every crevice, nook, corner, and cranny of my life is improving, evolving, ascending — moving towards the light.